Last week during Sunday service, our pastor preached about Ecclesiastes 1:1-2 and 12:13-14, which say:

“The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. ‘Vanity of vanities,’ says the Preacher, ‘Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.’” (Ecclesiastes 1:1-2)

Then, in chapter 12, verses 13-14, the Preacher concludes:

“The end of the matter, all that has been heard: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is the end of the matter for all mankind. For God will bring every work to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

These verses emphasize that despite all the wealth, wisdom, and success the Preacher (King Solomon) had, he found that life was ultimately meaningless—“vanity of vanities”—without reverence for God and obedience to His commandments. In the end, everything will be judged by God, and only what we do in alignment with His will truly matters.

Hearing this message struck me deeply, and as I reflected on it, I remembered something I heard back in 2010 from my favorite artist, Adam Lambert. During his first world tour, he said, “No matter how much money, fame, success, or sex you have in your life, it’s all great, but it doesn’t mean anything unless you’re connected with love.”

That quote has stayed with me ever since, but hearing it again in a spiritual context hits differently, because isn’t it true? As humans, we often live our lives in pursuit of happiness, love, and significance, thinking that these things will bring us peace and contentment. But, more often than not, this pursuit leads us down a path of destruction.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. I can recall all my failed attempts to find fulfillment—whether through friends, romantic relationships, my career, or even vices. How many times have I changed jobs simply because I wasn’t “happy” or didn’t feel appreciated? How many times have I sought love and validation from different men, just because I didn’t feel loved or cared for? What lengths did I go to in order to fit in with people I thought were my friends?

Honestly, I can’t even list it all. If I did, this blog could turn into a book. Despite everything, at the end of each day, I still walk home alone, still feeling empty, still feeling lost. At one point, I even turned to spirituality in the form of astrology, tarot, and wicca—anything that promised peace and security. I wanted to feel in control of my life, to believe I could have everything I desired, that I could create my own reality. But that was one of the world’s many lies: making you believe that these things will bring you closer to God, and/or be “like” God. Honestly, remembering these things as I write this makes me giggle at the absurdity.

Then one day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was feeling lost and tired. I prayed, asking God to remove from my life anyone who didn’t have good intentions for me—or to give me the strength to walk away instead. I also prayed for Him to show me His light. God already knew what I wanted, but this time, I didn’t want those things anymore. I wanted what He wanted for me.

I am forever grateful for God’s mercy. He saved me from eternal damnation. He showed me His light in the form of my beau, who is a Christian. He was the one who introduced Jesus to me and a way for me to know true Christianity, before this, all I knew about Christianity was how the unbelievers portray them. Since then, I’ve slowly stepped away from the things I used to do: divinations, rituals, vices, and all the other abominations I was involved in. I thank God for giving me the strength to walk away from people who weren’t good for me. I attended church for the first time, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, got baptized, and have been learning and striving to be a better Christian ever since.

Now, I won’t claim that my life is perfect. There are still challenges and problems, and yes, I still sin. As it is said:

But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

And now, I’ve found the love and peace I was searching for. Whenever I worry, I remind myself that God is with me, that He is in control of my life, and that everything happening is according to His will.

It’s only through Jesus that we find true peace and love. The significance we seek is not something we can gain from the people around us, but from knowing that God loves us and knows us. Only His view of us matters.

As an artist, while I am still unsure of what the future holds for me in terms of profession, I’m figuring out how I can use God’s precious gift—my talent for art and writing—to show His love and light to others. I want to use these gifts to share His message with the world. Because in the end, it’s not about worldly success, but about how we can glorify God and spread His truth to those who need to hear it.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

(Joshua 1:9)